Bits & Pieces, Odds & Ends Version4.0
Here we go again with more unfiltered thoughts and rants…
FUN WITH TELEMARKETERS….
Having an odd name sometimes comes in handy when those ‘ole telemarketers start calling…
That tell-tale pause after I answer the phone when they try and figure out how to pronounce my name is my signal to let the fun begin on my end…
Annoying Telemarketer: Ah.. Mr. Saa–bee-trah… er– Sah-boog-ah-tar…Sbreee-caah-caka?…
ME: Yes?
Annoying Telemarketer: I’ve got a great offer I want to tell you about—-
ME: Oh.. I’m so glad you called.. It gets so lonely here… Just me and the cats.. I have 72 of them, you know…. They sometimes ignore me…That’s why it’s so nice you called… Let me tell you all their names….
Annoying Telemarketer: …But sir..
ME: Would you like to talk to one of them? C’mere Gizmo!..He’s my favorite….
Annoying Telemarketer: No.. I want to tell you about—
ME: Say “hello” to the nice man Gizmo.. No time to be shy, sweetie.. Speak up !!!… C’mon Gizmo… Hey mister—can you hear him??
….(CLICK)….
ME: Oh dear. they’re gone!
Or, sometimes I try this…..
Annoying Telemarketer: ….Is this…ah.. Mr. Soow-Brah-roo-cha?
ME: Yes….
Annoying Telemarketer: I’m calling from Fred’s Credit Cards with a special offer…
ME: OH.. This is SO perfect….
Annoying Telemarketer: Good—because we want to—
ME: I’m having trouble with my Calculus homework—and I need some help figuring out the co-sign of 3 over V deducted from the inverse of 120 to the 4th power…
Annoying Telemarketer: But sir—I’m with Fred’s credit cards..
ME: Yes..I know.. So you MUST be good with numbers…Now, do I need to do an algebraic logarithm first before I calculate or do I—
…(Click)…
I may not stop the guys who’ve figure out the loopholes in the “DO NOT CALL” list— but, at least it gives me a chance to annoy THEM before they annoy me!
…CUTENESS IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER…
All together now…..aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwww
All together now….eeeeeewwwwwwwww…
As we said—Cuteness IS in the eye of the beholder…...
ANY QUESTIONS ????
—Steve
Link here to the story Steve covered today on NBC-17
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I haven’t laughed like that in a while! I absolutely LOVE your way of…eh…hem…dealing with those annoying telemarketers. I think I’ve learned a thing or two here.
Thanks!
BETWEEN the LINES replies
Always glad to be of service.
—Steve